Homer Simpson Quotes

• Ahh, Beer! My one weakness...my Achilles Heel, if you will...
• Mmmm...Sacrelicious!
• My baloney has a first name, its h-o-m-e-r, My baloney has a second name, its h-o-m-e-r...
• Be quiet, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip.
• Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.
• Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
• Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!
• The other day I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
• A hundred bucks for a comic book? Who drew it, Michaelmelangelo?
• If he is so smart, how come he is dead?
• And how is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?
• If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English.
• I don't apologize. I am sorry Lisa, that's the way I am.
• Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family.
• This donut has purple in the middle, purple is a fruit.
• Be quiet, Brain, or I'll stab you with a Q-tip.
• AHHH. Donuts. . . What can't they do.
• You never know when an old calendar might come in handy! Sure, it's not 1985 right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring?
• Guys are always patting my bald head for luck, pinching my belly to hear my girlish laugh...
• If something is too hard,give it up. The moral my boy is too never try anything
• What about those red balls they have on car aerials so you can spot your car in a park. I think all cars should have them!
• The other day I was so desperate for a beer, I snuck into the football stadium and ate the dirt under the bleachers.